Here's the lowdown on how to subscribe to Allure's print edition for more beauty routines, recommendations, and features. What defines a fetish, though, isn't what the activity or object of desire is so much as the role it plays in someone's life. While people use the terms "fetish" and "kink" interchangeably, a kink means an activity or behavior that someone enjoys that exists outside the "norm" of "traditional" sex. Someone's kink may be bondage, and they may be incredibly excited when they're tied up
In a peer-reviewed paper , sex psychologists Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad, Elsa Almas, and Kaethe Weingarten advocate a new approach to understanding sexual fetishes that may be deemed unusual or uncommon. The paper, based on work by esteemed sex psychologist John Money, compares sexual turn-ons to learning a language. As a former dominatrix, I used to get people coming to me for spanking and caning because they'd received corporal punishment at school, often in a completely un-erotic context. Feet are a good example. There's actually a scientific theory that says there's some cross-wiring in the brain of foot fetishists - the areas of the brain that are associated with the genitalia and the brain are next to one another.
Experts weigh in on whether mental illness is involved when people have fetishes such as bondage, obsession with feet, or adult diapers. Some people become sexually aroused by an object or part of the body that's not typically considered sexual, such as feet or hair. Others may develop a liking for a particular lifestyle that allows them to live out their fetish or interest in erotic role-playing, such as bondage, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism BDSM. Fetishes and alternative erotic lifestyles come in a wide variety of forms, from common to extreme. Consider John-Michael Williams, owner of Tykables, an adult baby fetish shop in Illinois that sells adult diapers to people who are aroused by being treated like babies.
Google the word "quicksand. Because there's an online community of sex fetishists who have a thing for quicksand. When a person derives strong sexual arousal from some non-human object, a non-genital body part, or a bodily secretion, that's a rough definition of a fetish, Lehmiller says.